4 years ago
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Am I the meanest mom ever?
Just wanted to vent for a second. Cooper usually loves going to the pool. I have been letting him swim with floaties and go at his own pace all summer. But summer is almost up and he is still afraid every time I make him take his floaties off. He has done it 4- 5 times and he has actually swam to me and back to the steps, so I know he can do it. But to get him to the point of doing it is like pulling teeth. He cries for 30 minutes until I literally force him to do it. Am I being mean by forcing him to learn to swim? If this is not making any sense you need to understand Cooper's personality. He hates trying anything new and scary. He has meltdowns when he thinks he will have to do something he does not like or has not done before. He has done this since he was little. I have always had to push him to do new or scary things with him fighting the whole way. But in the end he usually ends up loving it after the whole ordeal is over. On top of his normal fears, he has had a few pool incidents that have reinforced the whole scary pool thing. So should I fight this or should I just let it go until next year. Lately he has not wanted to go to the pool all together, making up excuses why to not go to the pool. I don't want this because he really has a good time at the pool when I don't force him to swim. So opinions please, should I be the mean mom or should I just let this one slide till next year? There is nothing wrong with a 5 year not knowing how to swim right?
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5 comments:
Have you tried swim lessons? That's how I learned to swim. It might be more enjoyable for him if he learns with other kids.
I would use reverse psychology. Encouragemnt is good force can traumatizing. Bribery is also a good tool of a skilled mother!!HA!HA!I've seen you in action you are not mean you are just trying to help him learn and experience. Just think of this year a a trial period and don't stress the small stuff!! Love Ya! Swim lessons would probably be best it removes mom who they can munipulate easily; others tend to be more successful with our children sometimes. Peer pressure and teacher praise can be all they need to push themselves out of their comfort zone.
I was going to suggest swim lessons, too, because kids will often perform for teachers that are not their mom. Might have to wait until next summer though.
Swim lessons worked for Kendal when she was little. She was afraid too!
Cooper is so much like Hailey. I can't force Hailey to do anything when she is scared because there is no reasoning with her.
You know your boy best, but it is okay if a 5 year old can't swim. If you keep taking him to the pool he will eventually get the nerve to do it. I promise you he won't be in floaties all his life. I think swim lessons is a good idea too.
Just keep encouraging him and let him take it at his own pace. He will get it. I believe there are times when you have to force kids to do things, like brush teeth, visit doctor/dentist, go to school, help with chores, bathe, ect...
I think swimming is one of those things that will come in time and forcing is not required. It is kind of like taking off the training wheels when riding a bike.
By the way, you are not a mean mom. You just want to see your kid succeed. Good luck with it all.
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